Some experts say that a typical woman needs 15 minutes for foreplay, but you can never, ever, take too long over foreplay. Foreplay involves a range of activities including kissing, undressing, petting and oral sex. Each can be enjoyed separately, or as a prelude to sexual intercourse. Men who cuddle and kiss their partners and know how to enjoy sensitive foreplay will often find their partners reach orgasm more easily. A woman needs prolonged stimulation to reach full arousal; foreplay ensures she receives the stimulation she requires. Foreplay is not about pressing the right buttons in the right order (especially since you've been told repeatedly that each person differs in what she finds pleasurable). Foreplay is about understanding what pleases your partner, and doing those things that deliver the most pleasure.
Start with Her Hands
- Hold her hand gently in yours. Kiss the backs of her fingers. Fingers are a woman's most ignored erogenous zone, according to a manicurist.
- Turn her hand over and work your way to her wrist. Keep your mouth
closed. Press your lips gently into that tender area above her palm.
Do this until you can feel her pulse. She should have one.
Time required: 1 minute
Move on to Light Kissing
- Start with her bottom lip. Put it between your lips and kiss it lightly. She should hardly know you're there. (but it shouldn't be so light that she falls asleep).
- Move on to her upper lip, then her throat, earlobes, and eyelids, in no particular order. Gauge her reaction to figure out what she likes. Keep your lips together, your eyes open, and your tongue in your mouth. For now.
- As you kiss, stroke her arms and back using your fingernails (if you
have any). But not too hard.
Time required: 3 minutes
Next: Heavy Kissing
- A common complaint: too much tongue. Never extend yours more than
a third of the way into her mouth. Instead, use the tip of it to play
with the tip of her tongue, the inside of her lips, and the edges of
her teeth. "Tonseil hockey" does not mean you have to touch
her tonseils.
Time required: 2 minutes
Now Kiss All of Her
Lot of men simply work their way down a woman's body -- mouth, breasts, belly button, and so on. It's not arousing because she knows exactly where you're headed. Surprise her...
- Focus on overlooked areas: her inner thighs, the backs of her knees, behind her earlobes, and the tops of her breasts (not her nipples remember the other areas from the erogenous zones section. Jump from spot to spot.
- Use small, sucking kisses. Add pressure with the tip of your tongue.
- After kissing one area, gently blow on it. She'll get a chill; that's
a good thing. Doing this to the nipples causes them to pucker.
Time required: 4 minutes
Start Using Your Hands
- Don't be rough with her breasts. If her nipples aren't erect, don't clamp down or twist them (unless when dealing with someone into masochism). Instead, use the flat of your palm to rub her entire breast in a circular motion. Start lightly and increase the pressure as she becomes more excited.
- Once her nipples are firm, take them between two wet fingers and slide
back and forth. Don't squeeze (or maybe she likes that?).
Time required: 2 minutes
Head South
- Rather than going straight for the clitoris, spend some time stroking her outer lips with one or two fingers. That will provide indirect stimulation to the clitoris, which is all she's ready for right now. Use long, slow strokes.
- Gently part her labia and use your thumb and forefinger to stroke
along the sides of her clitoris and her inner lips. Don't actually touch
the clitoris yet -- you'll know when she's ready.
Time required: 3 minutes
The Last Thing to Do... Check her for signs of arousal:
- Erect nipples
- Heavy breathing
- Firm clitoris
- Wet vulva
If they're all present, kiss her deeply as you slowly enter her. Pause for several seconds, then start thrusting. Foreplay's over.
Although each of the sections above are sectioned as part of 15 minutes, be spontaneous. Do not time your foreplay. Foreplay is supposed to help your love life and not become a rutt. As always watch her for her reaction to each section. Some women might want longer time doing some things more than others.