What is Cunnilingus?
Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina with your mouth and tongue. It involves using the tongue and mouth to lick and nuzzle the clitoris and vaginal area. Since the tongue is softer than the fingers, it provides gentler and more varied stimulation. Women need direct stimulation in order to reach orgasm, so the most important thing that a man can do for his partner sexually is to learn the areas, pressures and rhythms that excite her most. We'll get to more on that later.
Studies show that 90 percent of married women under 25 give head and for women over 50, at least 55 percent of the men are going down, with 95 percent of the men and 82 percent of the women enjoying it. Lots of guys have a love/hate attitude to the female genitalia. While they love inserting their penises in there, many of them are seriously reluctant to put their perform cunnilingus. The ratio of guys who do to those who don't is nearly 50/50. Many women know this and it makes them reluctant to lie back and enjoy the experience.
There is no right or wrong way to perform oral sex, however, there is the need for basic knowledge of the female sexual organs in order to enhance your partner's pleasure. Practice and communication is the best way to increase pleasure. Before you go any further with your lesson on cunnilingus, let's refresh your memory on the sexual organs. Most men don't really know what's "down there". Lots of women also don't appreciate what they have, and can't understand why a man would think that it was beautiful, let alone want to put his face in it. Having said that, let's continue.
- Since you've both showered and are now in bed, take to time to learn you partner's body. Leave the lights on, or get a flashlight or something, so that you can examine her carefully. Take a good look at what's between her legs. That's her vulva (pussy, cunt, etc). They come in all different sizes, colors and shapes; some are tucked inside and some have thick luscious lips that come out to greet you. Some are nested in brushes of dark fur and others are covered with transparent fuzz.
- The first thing you see is her muff (the hair on her mound). It should be the same color as the rest of her natural growing hair. It has a slightly different texture than the hair on her head and can cover a large or small area but usually just up over the mons area, that fleshy mound over her pelvic bone, and down each side of her vulva to its lower end. It usually does not spread out to her thighs and has sparse growth partially onto the outer lips.
- Nestled in the midst of her muff are the outer, or major, lips of her vulva. They are not overly sensitive to touch on the outside, about the same as the shaft of the male penis. They extend from the upper part of the hood that covers her clit to more or less the bottom of her vulva. They're thick and luscious in the middle and thin out at each end blending into her body. Some are almost closed while others are open to varying extents, allowing the inner pleasures to peep through. They don't generally come together completely at the top, exposing the upper cone of the clitoral hood, and less so at the bottom, giving you a glimpse of the bottom of the vaginal entrance where the lower parts of the inner lips surround it.
- Underneath the outer lips are the inner, or minor, lips. These are much thinner, more sensitive and fun to play with. At the top they form the cone-shaped hood that protects the sensitive clit, closing in under the clit and then coming back out to continue down to the bottom of the vaginal entrance. They tend to blossom out between the outer lips, especially near the bottom.
- Between the underside of the clit and the bottom of the vaginal opening lies the vestibule, your new playground. Although the clit's hood is a part of the inner lips, they appear to only cover the vestibule. The urethra and vagina open into the vestibule. Excluding the obvious first place role of the clit, it's the vestibule and the entrance to the vagina where a lot of the action takes place.
- Last, but diffinitely not least the clitoris or clit. Most of you know it, but for those who don't, it's THE woman's sex organ, period. It may feel great to be penetrated vaginally or otherwise, but if the stimulation isn't right there, on the clit, you're ignoring the place that's going to make her cum, and presumably that's why you're reading this, right? It's right there at the top juncture of her inner lips, a small knob of flesh. This is where it's at boys, and don't forget it. Almost any licking and sucking of the labia or vaginal entrance are going to feel just dandy; just remember that's pleasurable, teasing, not the main event. Thrusting your tongues up her vulva is not what's going to make her cum.
- Women feel differently about how much direct stimulation they can take on their clit. Some women will adore it if you suck hard on their exposed clits, others will shriek in pain. You may encounter a woman who is completely unable to take direct stimulation of her clit; the goal is still the same, but you'll have to stimulate it indirectly, such as through her labia. IMPORTANT NOTE: Often, what is unacceptably rough at first, may be fine after she's very excited. The fact is, most women really need a good bit of stimulation before a targeted attack on their clit, but once they're ready, that's where you want to devote your attention.
- Back off for now, rest your head on her thigh and just admire the view. Learn to appreciate your woman's unique qualities and tell her what makes her special. Describe what you see, in poets' words if you can, but in any way you can as long as it's with love and admiration.
Now let's get "down" to business.
Pick a position that works for both of you. Most women tend to like lying on their back. Prop some pillows behind you if you want to watch him work. There's also the 69 position, but some couples have a hard time concentrating on giving pleasure when they are receiving it at the same time. For the arobatic couples out there, he could also lift you and have you sit on his shoulders facing him.
For the receiver, your only instructions are to lie back and enjoy, but don't forget to communicate with your partner. Let him know what you enjoy. For the giver, remember that although she might want you to "eat her out" she might still be hesitant to have you go down on her. Talk to her and reassure her. You have to communicate with her too. If you think you might find her ordors offensive, suggest that your shower together first and that can be part of your foreplay, you can soap her down while she does the same for you. You'll both leave the shower feeling freshing and more ready to pleasure each other orally.
Use your tongue
There's almost nothing you can do with your tongue that won't feel terrific, so relax! You may be confused and uncertain, but she's in heaven. Any licking and sucking of her lips, vulva, or clit are going to feel just great (keep the biting to a minimun).
Play around in the vestibule, try lapping her vulva from her vagina up to her clit, leaving your tongue soft and jaw relaxed. This is a good way to start your tonguing. Run your tongue between the inner and outer lips on one side, while holding the two together with your lips. Repeat that action on ther other side. Penetrate her vagina with your tongue - in and out, around and around, etc. This feels nice. Not wonderful or incredible or earthshaking, but nice. Keep your tongue in her vagina for a while, moving the tip around and around and . . .(inprovise). Now lick up to her clit again and kiss it, watch her shudder. Feel the texture of the tip of her clit with your tongue, notice the taste of it. Spend some time slowly licking your tongue over all of her vulva, savoring the various tastes and textures.
Spread her outer lips with your hand. Then, with your tongue pointed and stiff, gently flick here and there. Feel free to roam, but keep coming back to her clit. This drives some women wild, and others can't take it (those who can't will tell you). Some may prefer that you always leave your tongue soft, so when you try this, pay attention to whether those moans are ecstasy or pain. If you don't know and can't figure it out, ask her.
Do not do the following untill she is aroused beyond coherence. These actions are extremely intense for some women even when nearing orgasm.
With her clit still exposed, give it a quick little suck - pulling it into your mouth briefly and letting it go. This is a lot like licking a bit of cake batter off of your pinky. This feels incredible, and is a fine thing to do if you feel like torturing her. Keep reading... Take her exposed clit into your mouth and gently (at first, anyway) suck on it, simultaneously flicking your tongue over and around it. This can be done very lightly or very aggressively, and combined with fingering, will usually rapidly produce an intense orgasm.
Another choice technique involves rolling your tongue into a tube. If you can't do this with your tongue, you can't learn it - it's genetic. For those who can, this works best in an inverted or 69 position. Roll your tongue into a tube around the shaft of her clit. Slide it up and down; in effect, your tongue makes a tiny vagina for her clit to fuck. This also is likely to bring her over the edge.
Use your fingers
Fingers are valuable addition to eating vulva. Most women masturbate by pressing a finger or fingers over their clit, possibly "thru" the skin of their lips, and vigorously rubbing in a circular or back-and-forth direction. You can do this too, ask her, or better yet, have her show you how she likes it done. You'll never be a good lover until you can bring your woman to climax with your hands. When you penetrate her from behind, or really in any position which doesn't allow her to simultaneously rub her clit against your body, reach down or around and rub her clit. It may be distracting, but just do it anyway. One important point to note: make sure that your fingers are well lubricated and most of all, your nails cut, meaning cut back to the quick and sanded smooth. The slightest hangnail can be very painful when raked over that tender flesh.
Of course, that's not all you can do with your fingers. One technique which is very exciting is to spread her lips wide apart with one hand, and with your index finger straight like a pencil, flick the side of it rapidly across her clit. This motion alone will often bring a woman to orgasm. Combining this with the addition of some tongue action elsewhere is nothing short of bliss.
Sticking one or more fingers inside her vagina can also be wonderful. How many fingers you use depends on the woman. Some women don't want you to stick your finger in their vagina at all, some like only one (at least at first), some like their vagina to be full so the more the better (don't try to fist her). You can simply move them in and out (this feels best with at least two or three fingers pushed in hard) or wiggle them around. A particularly intense motion is to face your hand so that you have two fingers inside her with your palm facing the front of her body. Now move your fingers rapidly, as if waving hello. You're aiming to stimulate a particular part of the woman's vagina - namely the lower anterior (front) part. When combined with sucking her clit, this is nearly certain to bring her to a fast and intense climax.
If you're between her legs, busily eating away, and want to finger her at the same time, your thumb (or thumbs) may be the best ones to use. It is difficult to turn your other fingers around to work on her "G" spot. It also allows you to use your other fingers on her clit and the rest of her vulva.
An excellent way to begin manual stimulation is to stick one (and later two) fingers inside her, with your palm cupped over the mons area. I'm talking about that fleshy "mound" over her pubic bone. Your finger goes in and out and the ball of your hand is pressed hard against her vulva. You may want to rub or even shake the entire area with your palm.
Putting together what you've learned
Variety is crucial. Some guy posted an article detailing a road map of kissing and licking (first here, then here, etc.) Much better to do the unexpected, sometimes a hungry, aggressive approach, other times a laid-back, leisurely one. You can even include your nose, or your chin in the act. Start slowly, that's the key, and let your lover guide the speed of the crescendo, try playing some music and then keep pace with the time and intensity of the music. In all cases, start gently. Roughness and clumsiness are big turn-offs. As she gets more excited, pay more attention to her clit. As she gets closer to orgasm, don't leave her clit for more than a moment or two. It's great to move down to her vagina and then right back to her clit. If you're between her legs with your tongue in her vagina, look at where her clit is, right under your nose. Don't just look at it, use your nose and keep up the stimulation of her clit while you're thrusting your tongue around in her vagina. If you're in the 69 position, then use your chin on her clit while you French kiss her vagina.
When she's three breaths away from cumming, moving your mouth off or away from her clit is agony. That's fine if you're intentionally torturing her, just understand that this is what you're doing. The only prohibition is to be reasonably gentle with her clit. Nibbling or biting is fine elsewhere, but we're talking about a sensitive spot.
Lets return to putting it all together. Open her outer and inner lips with your fingers. Get your whole mouth into the act.
- Press your lips against the lips of her vagina,
- Run your tongue in as far as you can get it, and
- French kiss her vagina, long and hard.
Tongue-fuck her for a while, watching her response, she liked that too, then slide your tongue out of her vagina. She's hot now, don't lose contact with her vulva, keep your mouth or tongue working on something. Slowly lap your tongue up the length of her vestibule to her clit and gently lick it a few times, a little harder as she raises her crotch up to you.
Play with her vulva lips with your lips and tongue, up and down, both sides. Kiss her vagina again and lap your tongue back up to her meatus and play with it a little, then on up to her clit again, pulling gently on it with your lips. Run your tongue back down to the bottom of her vulva and then, keeping your tongue on the outside of her lips, lap it all the way up to the top. Show her how much you like to eat her. Open your mouth wide and close it down over her vulva taking as much in as you can. press your mouth hard against her, rocking your head around and around while you find her clit with your tongue and start to lick it. She's running her fingers through your hair now, watching you intently, mouth open making those sexy sounds women make when they're really on the way up.
Release her lips and look up at her face, make eye contact, watch her expression and feel her raise her vulva up to you as you gently suck the head of her clit into your mouth, open wider and take its hood in, holding it with your lips. Let her clit slip back under its hood, then suck it into your mouth again, flicking it with your tongue, let it slide back out under its hood and suck it back into your mouth again and again until it's sliding in and out like she was fucking you with it. Slide your hands up along the sides of her vulva, working your thumbs into her vagina, fingering the top of it in time with the strokes of her clit. She's grabbed your head, setting the pace as she pulls you to her harder and harder, rocking her crotch back and forth faster and faster. You've found what she wants and she's gonna cum and you'd better not stop until she does . . . and then some.
Reservations
The taste, the smell?
If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask her to wash first or bathe together. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a good, if acquired, taste.
She wants me to "eat her" during menstruation...
Some people are particularly turned off at the suggestion of cunnilingus during menstruation. If it is a concern to you, then wait. A tampon may well hold the blood back, as will a diaphragm, but some men can't stand the taste anyway. If your partner is healthy, however, there is no particular danger in menstrual blood, and some women find that orgasms during their periods allievate cramps.
Protection for oral sex on females?
- Purchase a dental dam from Peer Health, or
- Use a a piece of plastic wrap (Saran Wrap) as a barrier between the mouth and the vagina, or
- Cut an unlubricated condom into a latex square
Before you start oral sex without protection, make sure that you and your partner are well aware of each other's sexual history. Otherwise, keep the following things in mind: a) keep semen and vaginal fluids out of your mouth, b) make sure that your mouth is healthy and that you don't have bleeding gums, cuts, or mouth sores, because the presence of blood will increase your risk.